P-R-E-T-E-N-T-I-O-N

Is how you spell "jaymack".

Am I in a stable? 'Cause I'm surrounded by Nay-Sayers!

By insulting yourself right off the bat, you take that opportunity away from your critics. You acknowledge your faults and celebrate them, and somehow that makes you "self-aware" or "edgy". It's a real fashion these days. My type uses it to protect our squishy, peach-like egos from the harsh realities of the internet world, where everybody has an opinion, and it's usually "that sucks".

I've talked about that ad nauseam. So has everyone my age - desperately trying to carve themselves out a personality or some form of notoriety on the internet. I don't think I'm cut out for it. The internet, that is. 

I want to make something - but it's publication on a week by week basis with constant interaction cripples me. "That page is weird" "His face doesn't look right" "Get on with the story already!". It's stressful. It makes me feel like mush. Like I've got cotton for a brain. And it discourages me. 

I find discouragement fascinating. Why does it happen? Why can't we always just stay 100%. Why are we so afraid of everything? I can't make heads or tails of it. 

But this I know for sure. I'm going to keep updating my comic the exact way it's been going - every monday unless I don't feel like it. The reason there hasn't been an update for the past two weeks is that straight-up, I don't feel like doing it. I'm already getting bored and discouraged and we're only like, eight pages in. 

Part of it, is I HATE the palette I'm working with. I HATE the color orange. So, So much. It's easily the ugliest color in the world, and I try to avoid it whenever possible. But when you do a comic with high contrast color palettes, and you start the story around a fire, you pretty much have no choice. But anyway, I hate looking at it, and will probably never go back to Adam and Malik around a fire once this segment is over, purely out of complete hatred for the color orange. 

The other reason, is I'm being VERY. VERY. careful about what the characters say. There's maybe three people in the universe that are going to understand Mozhaets no matter what is written in the word bubbles, and that's only because either A) I've told them everything that happens, or B) they're pretty much a character in the story. For everyone else, every. single. word. is critical to what I'm trying to say, and since I'm only 21 years old, I'm not nearly a good enough writer to properly pull it off. 

What I am saying is that to some degree, I will constantly hate Mozhaets, for never being what I imagined in my head. And I need to come to terms with that DAMN quickly.

My entire life post-high-school has been a series of disappointments. I have been crashing and burning this whole time. The only thing I have never fucked up is this comic, and if I do, everything else I've ruined will be for nothing. 

And so, I'm about to do something drastic. I have just bought a weeks worth of Kraft Dinner. I have put all my clothes in the laundry. I am going to go into my room, lock the door, unplug my internet, and work this comic for five days straight. In my head, people will be saying "Adam's hair looks off", "that grass is ugly", "that metaphor makes no sense." But frankly, I don't care anymore. I've heard it all before, and I'm down as low as I've ever been.

Recently, I've been asking myself what it is that I'm good at, and if the answer is "this", well then it's time to man up and do it. There's no where to go but up. Please wish me luck.

-JMG

Please never be cynical

For the record, it's my least favorite quality.

I really don't know what this was all about.

Dear Internet,

Lately, people have been talking quite a bit about this Conan vs. Leno thing. We all have roles to play, and as a member of the butts, my role is to provide my unadulterated opinion, based on my skewed viewpoint, and portray it as fact. So let's roll...

First off, recognize one thing: NONE OF THIS MATTERS AT ALL. People are dying in Haiti, or, Darfur or whatever, and we should be focusing on that, instead of this inconsequential Late-night debate. You want to rally for something? You want to stand behind a cause? Go write protest signs and raise money for world issues, ya bum.

There. I've done my preaching that you all were expecting, and now that I've stepped off my soapbox, and the disclaimer has been heeded, let's move on.

Poor Leno. All he wants to do is make people laugh well into his old age, and this whole furor exploded around him. I mean, sure - he wedged his way in in the first place, and has now jumped back onto Conan's spot since this whole thing started, but it really isn't his fault. Like I said, all he really wants to do is make people laugh, get good ratings, and keep that big chin of his employed.

What about NBC? The Big, Bad Corporation? They ended up with three late night hosts, and couldn't manage them all. They wanted high ratings for each, but when things started going south, they panicked and did the first thing that made any sense - push the whole thing back to where it was. You can't really be mad at them - they have advertisers to please. They just want to keep making money, and keep all their hosts and writers employed.

You obviously can't really blame Conan either. He worked with NBC for a long time. He got the Tonight Show because he aggressively demanded it in his renewed contract. But that doesn't make him greedy. After all, just like anyone who has a dream, he pursued it. He was just trying to keep himself, and his crew advancing - keep them growing, and keep them employed.

What we see here are hundreds of people, who's jobs are based around four figure heads. Each figure head, Leno, NBC, and O'Brien, and now Jimmy Fallon, want the same thing - a bigger piece of pie. And that's totally allowed. It may be greedy, but it's also capitalist. It's also enterprising. It's also something we all would want in their positions. And that's great! That's the human spirit. Without that desire to be top dog, we wouldn't have space ships or cars or art, or music, or whatever else is good about being a human.

In the end, it was a tricky situation with no clear answer.

I wonder if they still hang out behind the scenes.

But another thing about human nature - we really like to take sides.

Now, we can talk about how NBC is just sucking on Leno's dangling participle, or how Conan is being whiny and giving up because he didn't get what he wanted, but that's another post for another blog.

The meat of this issue has just been discussed. And with three people vying for what is, essentially, two hours of air time, someone's going to have to bow down. It should have been Leno. Period. He's had his time. It should never have been Fallon, since he's just starting out, and it also shouldn't have been Conan, but someone had to do it, and he stepped up to step down.

You could argue that he did it for Fallon, and that makes him damn heroic. And it's also probably partly true. But I think in the end, Conan was the only one who realized the bold paragraph at the top of this entry. He recognized that none of this is worth the hassle, and if he can pull out of this now while maintaining his dignity, and making sure his people get compensated, then maybe it's for the best.

Like he said at the end of his farewell speech - Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. 

Damn right, CoCo.

So what happens now? Well, an old man with a big chin will get what he wanted - more time. A young man with some potential will continue to waste the Roots, but also grow into his shoes. A grounded, honest intellectual will continue to work hard, and be kind, and will find a home somewhere else.

As for the Big Bad Corporation? Well, they just lost an icon, but they're General Electric, dammit. They've lost and gained so much that in a years time, they won't even remember.

It's a real happy ending. As the dust calms, everything falls back into it's place. Everyone lives to fight another day.

Except for Haiti. We should probably do something about that.

-K

MOZSTATUS

An explanation.

The main protagonist.

Hey err'body. Let's talk about my comic :)

I have a small (read: miniscule) fanbase on this project, but anyone who pays attention must truly give a shit because you'll followed through me messing around with it for years and years.

I've already gotten a little bit of flak for this version of the comic. People are staying it's starting off quite slow. I get that. But it's very intentional. See, the first time I made this comic, I jumped into the thick of it, and then, realizing I had no setup, and the readers didn't understand the world AT ALL, I relied super heavily on awkward explanations of things from the narrator. It was a mess. 

This time, I'm tacking twenty pages onto the front of the story as a prologue to establish the world. Once that's done, the narrator will still talk from time to time, but I can allow alot more of the story to just come through in dialogue. It'll be better in the end.

That said, I've been having trouble keeping to an update regimen, and I'll explain why.

You may think we're starting slow, but when it's all read in quick succession (not week by week), hopefully these first ten pages will present to you an important idea. And so, updates have been wonky, because I went back and tweaked a few things to make that idea more obvious.

I found the dialogue I had written wasn't quite to-the-point enough, so I've reorganized it, and now if you head over to the comic, and reread it, you'll find it slightly different than before.

To be honest, it's slightly embarassing being revisionist at this early in the game, but it was necessary. Next monday we'll be back to regularly scheduled programming. :)

thanks

-K

Why I Love Sonic The Hedgehog

As if it wasn't obvious.

"DOO DOO DOODOOODOO DOO.DOO.DOO.DOO. DOOOO DOO!!!" ... you know how it goes.

Originally posted November 27th 2008 on the old site.

Anyone who knows me, knows I have a seemingly unhealthy obsession with this little guy. Why is it? What is so appealing about a blue hedgehog with red sneakers that goes the speed of sound? The whole concept is ridiculous.

Here's why.

When I was a kid, my parents were having the hardest time getting me to read. I couldn't stand it. To me, it was an enormous wall of symbols - they meant nothing, they did nothing, they were far less interesting than my Beatles Yellow Submarine VHS tape.

Until one day, I was in my town's general store. In the back, on a magazine rack, sat a select few comic books who's colorful covers attracted my attention deficit afflicted young eyes - Spiderman, Batman, Punisher etc. I didn't understand what they were - I had never seen a comic book before, but I was intrigued. My mom decided they were too old for me, but after a bit of whining I managed to convince her to buy me Sonic the Hedgehog issue #20.

I still didn't know how to read very well - I ended up needing it to be a bed-time story - but the idea of a comic book was inspiring - a picture book that showed you exactly what was happening every second... it was like watching a movie on paper! Hardly the most sound of logic, but it got me reading, and collecting.

Sonic taught me to read. Sonic taught me about comics.

Next came the video games. Soon after, I discovered that this strange animal thing... (who looks nothing like an actual hedgehog, I soon learned) pervaded more than just the literary world, and I first got my hands on Sonic & Knuckles for the Sega Genesis. I had played video games before - my best friend had Mario - but this was very different. This was fast. The design of the gameplay was simple: you just kept pushing forward until you caught up to an obstacle, jumped over it, killed a bad guy (innocent baby animals trapped inside evil robots) and then you would push forward again to zoom on your way. I got really good (I made it to the second level on my first rental!) and from then on I was hooked.

Sonic taught me how to play video games.

Over the next few years of my childhood, I wanted to be just like Sonic. I ran in circles around the playground looking at my feet trying to get them to blur. I wore almost exclusively blue. I got my mom to make me chilli dogs (I ended up hating them...) But what I really loved about him, was that no matter what happened, Sonic the Hedgehog was always ready for adventure - always happy to save the day.

At my age, and especially for someone like me, it's easy to get bogged down in life. Money, the future, girls, all that shit - it's stressful, and worrying. I worry, you worry, everyone worries. Except Sonic. When he's got a problem, he runs at it head-first. There's no mincing words, he just does the right thing.

I'm not the best person in the world - in fact, sometimes I'm a real asshole. But when it counts, I try to remember this simple question: WWSD? And the answer is simple - just do the right thing. Just be happy.

Sonic taught me that when I'm down, all I need to do is just cheer-the-fuck-up, and keep pushing forward.



Update

Emboldened by purpose.

"Here's lookin' at you kid." - he says something like that, right?

It's weird because often, I'll treat my blog update as a kind of accomplishment. Like "oh well, there's no new page today, but I put up a 7songs" or "I haven't worked on editing my films today but at least I told my five readers about why I like Sonic The Hedgehog". BUT TODAY, I'm writing because I'm trying to fill peeps in on what I'm up to.

I just got back from England/Scotland the other day. It was a crazy, life changing trip (as they always seem to be). I have a few more writings that will be sequels to "Travel Journal 1", but I'll post those up later in the coming weeks.

I've been busy as all hell on a project that doesn't really have a name. For now I'm calling it "Posteurs". It's a series of film poster "paintings" that are each designed to emulate a genre of 1940's film. There's a Casablana/Romance one, there's a giant monster one, there's a bunch.

The cool thing is the posters are being hung at a cafe downtown. I'll give you some more details very soon. But that's what I've been up to.

As for Mozhaets - I'm behind, yes I know. But I'm not the kind of webcomic arist who doesn't give a fuck. Next week there will be a new page on Monday, and another new page on Wednesday to make up for this week. Thanks for sticking around and reading anyway despite my lateness.

Alright, back to it.

Love, Peace and Hand Grease.

-K