"We're just getting started"

And how that little sentence ruined the movie trailer.

Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx in Law Abiding Citizen, the most recent perpetrator.

The purpose of a trailer, or teaser or whatever is simple: provide a quick synopsis of the story, while at the same time hyping up the audience for all the stuff they haven't yet seen.

It's exciting, you know? It's like "Here's some of the cool stuff you'll watch if you come to this film! See, that guy just hopped out a window! Oh man! Did that car just explode? Holy FUCK, I wasn't expecting that dude to be a bad guy!"

The trailer throws so much at us that it almost feels as though we've seen the whole thing already by the time we actually pay to watch. And in most hollywood cases, we have. But that's not what the studios want us to think. No, trust them, you may have just seen three generic explosions, two stereotype characters, and one trite, predictable plot, but that's just the jumping-off point! The movie itself has more, cooler stuff! Tip of the iceberg - "We're just getting started!".

What exactly is the problem with a line like this? Well, to me it's a lot of things. Firstly, it's a fail-safe. It's the director of the trailer saying "Ok, well you didn't think this stuff was original? You're still not convinced about giving us your time and money? Well, I swear there's even better stuff, we just couldn't show it because it's violent/racy/spoilers."

Secondly, it's cheap. It's easy hyping - a sentence that is so ingrained into our minds to mean "awesomeness is coming" that a trailer doesn't actually have to show anything cool at all to get the desired effect. I'd be interested to see a spot made for an non-existant film using ONLY trailer tropes. People riding on the tops of trains, and jumping off buildings, and the only lines saying things like "It's only the beginning" (Which BTW, is used in The Surrogates commercial in Canada, I just can't find a link.)

Thirdly, and most importantly, who says that in real life? Ever?

I thought that G.I. JOE was the most recent film to pull this shit, hoping it would be the last. But of course, turning on the TV this morning and hearing for the first time of the film Law Abiding Citizen I realized I was profoundly mistaken.

Seemingly about some sort of serial killer who manages to bump people off even from jail. The climax of the trailer arrives when, while in prison (I think) he looks up at Jamie Foxx and chuckles out the famous phrase.

Oh no wait, he said "I'm just getting warmed up." That's totally different.

Does it work on you? Sure does on me. Man, all the hairs on the back of my neck got little stiffies.

There's two explanations for the line being in just about every thriller/action/horror movie in existence. Either A) Some studio executive, from a swivel chair deep in the heart of his volcano base has mandated it be put into the script specifically for the trailer, or B) There's an army of screenwriters out there, who actually think that it's a compelling thing for an antagonist to say.

If there truly is such people, it raises questions about them. Are they twelve? Are their ideas of a good film anything that has a Fox Atomic logo or a Narrator's voice in the first five minutes? Are they continuing to find employment?

Or, are they actually funny, switched on writers who are being ironic by throwing in these hard-boiled lines as a throwback to flicks of old?

Maybe. Hopefully.

-K

H2IK Sequence? What's that?

Stands for "Hell If I Know", it'll be our little code.

Yet another ensemble drama. This time - IN SPACE!

So yeah, We're all getting a little sick of this LOST style drama on TV. You know the formula - pack together a bunch of international, unlikely heroes with troubled pasts, and put them in a situation where they have to argue and bicker in order to solve a complex mystery that gets revealed slowly, but with just enough revelation per episode to keep you hooked.

Heroes does this, LOST obviously does this, and now Defying Gravity does too.

The only difference is that DG is Canadian. Well, sorta. It's out of ABC, but it's filmed in Vancouver, with a predominantly Canadian cast, and aired on CTV. That's good enough for me.

See, even though America's still fronting this project, anything that uses Canadian talent is worth perpetuating, especially if it's science fiction.

Basically, Defying Gravity is a story of eight astronauts on a six-year mission to tour our solar system. Set in the year 2050, the first season deals with the beginning of the trip, and the heartships the crew must overcome to get the mission done.

It's a competently written space-drama, with some interesting characters, and some less-interesting ones. One of my favorites is an Indian man named Ajay, who was originally scheduled to be on the mission, but due to a last minute health complication, isn't allowed out of the atmostphere. The show deals with his feelings of having his "destiny" torn away from him, and the heartbreak that would come with that.

It's interesting, because unlike most science fiction, this show seems a little more grounded in real space missions. There are no bridges, or tractor beams, or transporters, just spacesuits, planet landers, and and anti-gravity.

It's not a perfect show, some of the characters are less than fleshed out, and focus seems to be unfairly balanced in favor of a few more "major" characters, but hell - Heroes is fucked and people still watch it.

So basically, I'm trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. Networks are too hasty in cancelling shows, and  knowing that, this decent show could end up fantastic, if it's given the chance. I'm writing this so that you guys will help it out. Ratings aren't too hot, and it clearly doesn't have a big fanbase, since no one I have talked to about it has even heard of it. Which is why we need to support it to keep it from getting cancelled. We're still early on in the first season, so my advice would be to head over to CTV.ca and catch up while you can.

Once you have, head over to CTV (the channel. on your TV, stupid) and watch every Sunday (and then later on Fridays... uh oh) at 10pm. If you're in the States reading this, you can catch it every Sunday at 10 on ABC.

I hope you enjoy it.

-K

And so, it continues...

And I thought things would calm down.

Careful America - your President is turning into this guy!

Sometimes, when I've got nothing else to write about, I use this website like digg. I post things I find interesting. Things I find amusing. And most importantly, things I find absolutely redonkulous.

This is one of those times.

According to Media Matters for America, a number of right-wingers are claiming that Obama is urging children to go to school in order to indoctrinate them into joining a secret army so he can take over the country.

Strong words right? They go on to equate Obama to Chairman Mao, and even Hitler.

You know what? Don't even bother sticking around on my site - just head over there and read about it yourself. This is just silly.

Further, I'm starting to think the whole thing wouldn't be so bad anyway - if Obama was more like the Chairman, maybe he could whip that country back into shape, after all, given how China's doing these days, maybe they should take a page from the book of Mao.

Just jaykaying!

-K

This is a promise

You believe me, right?

Sid. He's a bad kid, but when you meet him, you almost feel like you've known him forever.

Here's the fucking deal.

I'm 21 right now. I've been on the internet/webcomic scene for nearly half a decade. But I've never fully released something before. Never have I finished a project. That's bullshit.

Recently, something happened in my life that made me realize this is what I was born to do - tell lame stories with crazy awesome art. I'm a storyteller, son, and I should be doing what I do best.

This shake was just what I needed, and I'm pleased to tell you all that since I've been back from a long (looonnnnggg) hiatus, J. Mackenzie Graham is back in the game. Fully realized and ready to kick some ass. I know I seem weird. I know most of my shit makes no sense. But I'm only trying to grasp my true purpose in life. Isn't that what we're all after?

There is one project in my life that has existed to prove that fact. A project about growing up, a project about becoming self-actualized. And to write it, it took exactly as long as it took me to do just that. It's name is MOZHAETS: A DYSTOPIAN SCIENCE FICTION, and is the result of five years of living. And thought I have made many attempts to tell this story, I'm finally ready to do so.

Maybe you'll love it. And everyone else will too. And then I'll be skyrocketed into the world of film and comic books. I'll be famous. On the other hand, maybe you'll hate it. And if that's the case, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to redeem myself. But let's not think about that right now. Let's think about the present - or I guess - the near future.

Mozhaets is a twelve part graphic novel set in a futuristic society, and the first chapter is going to be dropped on your asses on December 21st, 2009. That was the big announcement I was mentioning in my last entry.

The first chapter is called Walk in Space and will introduce you to all the characters as well as a general direction of where the story is going to go.

Stay tuned.

-K

Wake up, wake up.

Am I going to have to drag you out of bed?

This is me just after I wake up - before I put my face on.

K, so I'm back. In more or less good form. I feel lonely and lost, but most importantly, I feel determined. 

My trip seems in memory to be less and less life changing every day that goes by, as I slowly fall back into my rut. But that's not going to last. See, I quit my job, I made some selfish decisions, and now my life is just different enough that I think my art is worth doing again. And with that in mind, I'm "starting" a huge project. A humongous, like super-big enormous project. And the full announcement of it's nature will be revealed exactly one week from today, September 3rd.

Everyday leading up to that, I'll be posting one new piece of art that has a direct connection to said project, that'll shine another light on what it is.

It's stupid obvious, but I thought I'd be a little mysterious. Why not, right?

Do I think I have the followers base to do viral marketing? Absolutely not. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to have a bit of fun with it.

Other news: no money, no job, but a potential new film opportunity, and some other exciting future projects on the docket, that I'll talk more about next month, but for now, head over to my Devart (link's over on the right, lazy asshole) and snoop around at my recent artistic mental breakdown. Tomorrow the real stuff starts.

In fun, plugging form, I'm throwing you - no - hurling you in the direction of my favorite-ever webcomic, Sarah Zero, which, as I'm looking at this, appears to be on hiatus.... <reads SZ website> Yeah... I guess the writer had a kid...

Well that goes to show you what happens when you leave the continent and kick half your friends out of your life.... I'll send him a congratulatory tweet.

ANYWAY, the comic is stunning, and sharp. I've never seen such hyperactive establishment-bashing in my life, and thusly, Sarah Zero is right up my alley. Come back tomorrow for other fun things.

-K